During divorce, people often want to know "how long will it take to move on?". It's tempting to want to avoid the pain but, if we try to skip over the emotions, we just push the anger and sadness inside until we break down when we least expect it.
Or perhaps we just carry on with life, believing we're fine, but forever feeling bitter or mistrusting of relationships.
Moving on effectively requires acknowledging, honouring and expressing what you feel. We don't need to stay in that place, but we do need to feel it to move through it. Feeling stuck is a sign that some emotion hasn't been adequately processed.
For me it was anger. From an early age I was made to feel that anger wasn't appropriate or acceptable; "good girls" don't lose their temper or let people know when something has upset them.
So when my marriage ended, I was quite understandably very angry but I couldn't fully express it. Instead, it came out as sadness (and I truly was desperately sad) but I was also very, very angry.
With no experience of handling such rage, it felt safer to squash it down but really it wasn't safer. Because the anger I couldn't express outwards became internal. It started to erode my peace of mind and create unhealthy obsessive overthinking and low self-esteem.
I realised I needed to let it out in a safe way. I wrote journal pages of the angry words I needed to express. I thrashed pillows. I talked to people I trusted with my feelings. And most of all I stopped judging myself for having normal human emotions.
Going through the process made the next steps to moving on become much clearer, because I was less weighed down by unexpressed emotion.
Shifting your perspective and discovering what you have to gain from your divorce becomes far easier when you let yourself feel what you need to feel first.
You keep attracting what you don’t want in people you date because you are so worried about it and focused on it and feeding tons of energy into what you don’t want and only manifesting more of that. #stopit#soulmatemanifesting
Reason #1 why you are not attracting your next relationship:
-> You are looking for that end-of-it-all,
the last relationshipn of your life,
i.e. the one. <-
You’ve had enough relationships,
you’ve had enough experiences.
You don’t want to get hurt again.
So, you don’t allow yourself to be vulnerable.
I am sorry to break the fantasy,
- but you probably ARE going to get hurt again.
- You probably ARE going to hurt them again.
- And it IS POSSIBLE to attract the end-of-it all, the final, THE ONE.
♡For you, I’ve made a free E-book called
<4 REASONS (that you probably weren’t aware of) WHY YOU ARE NOT ATTRACTING YOUR NEXT RELATIONSHIP>.
Click the link in my bio @xorosalee to access it♡